when i need to decide …

sometimes a decision will make everything clearer, as in the direction that u wanna go. but sometimes, a decision will lead to many things unresolved. 

at least that’s what is going on right now. i had made a decision, and i left with more things undone. but i will just stick to the original plan. just wait, and talk to someone, and make a final decision.

i’m happy for choices that i have. but sometimes having more than one choice can be confusing. it is catch-22. sigh … but i will just live with it, and move on …

oh yeah, few days ago (or one week ago?), i started charting my level of happiness. it is surprising that i am still doing it every day. yeah, it sounds ‘bo liao’ … but in the end of the day, i am quite happy to see actually my level of happiness is not bad after all … haha :p up to today, it is 7.38/10 … haha. i think to do it is quite good, coz u will know the level of happiness each day. if there is one particular thing that makes u unhappy, when u think abt it, there will be one thing (or more than one?) that can make u happy … so overall, u are still happy but it is really up to u to grade ur level of happiness … haha

okay, for watever grade i have today, it means i am happy …

knock3x …

it’s been awhile since the last time i posted something. yeah, lately nothing to post. i have been bz with some experiments lately. hope those experiments will end up good. i can say that i am in the high spirit of doing experiments, i am not sure why … haha. i am not sure whether it is a good thing or a bad one. by right, i must concentrate on my “u-know-wat”, but somehow, i still dont have the ‘kick’ to do it.

oh yeah, today visited our new lab. everything looks nice. big rooms, big tables, and many more … until it made me feel regret finishing soon. if only they completed the building one year earlier … sigh. but anyhow, i still want to finish my study, and start working. i have enough of student’s life, or have i? … mmm

today, got a call and msg from ‘u-will-know-who’, telling me there is a job opening. yeah, i think i will grab it soon … and august is coming fast … sigh, my thesis …

last but not least for today, i have knocked 3x, and since there is still no response, i should assume no one is in the house … it’s alright

oh oh oh, bro is coming. going to watch the harold and kumar together, with sis also, really looking forward to it … and bro, challenge u for the bball game … i am sure i can beat u …. hahahaha let’s see man …

haha …

me: “why a guy’s sideburns not symmetrical? do u know why?”

cc: “yep, coz he is a **y”.

me: “^o), wat? no no no, thats not the ans.”

cc: “so, wats the ans?”

me: “coz his barber didnt cut them properly, duh …”

urgency, where art thou?

i suppose to write my thesis, as i will (read: must) submit it by mid of july. but wat the heck am i doing? mmm … instead of typing my thesis, i have been f-booking, f-stering, msning, blogging, sms-ing, emailing, oh my … all those things …

where is the motivation to start? can someone plz kick me in the a**? u have the mass, come with velocity, and plz gimme the momentum … and hope that Newton;s first law works, and i will never stop writing my thesis … ops, this shouldnt be the case, means i will never finish writing ??? …just kidding

havent been doing something useful lately. and yesterday came out with something very nonsense. from yesterday onwards, i will grade my level of happiness, wat the crap right? haha … but anyhow, i will just do it. so in the end of the day, i will grade my happiness, 0 being super sucky day, and 10 being super happy day … i am sure i will stop doing it after some time :p … 

oh yeah, must rsvp for my frens’ wedding, ‘per’ & ‘wen’. i think they have put hell lots of efforts for their wedding, the website, pictures … and many more. good job guys … and  congratzz. oh the pic on the bridge at central park is just lovely …

there are electrons, there are also positrons …

when many things are not going well, there will be something or at least one thing, that is going alright

today i got a clearance from my boss. so hopefully i will secure a job soon, and i will start working on august as planned.

i think i need a new environment … a little fresh air may be good for me.

but before all those, i need to have my sense of urgency back, to finish those unfinished works.

hope can get all those done … wismilak

is that true … ?

from lily’s song … LDN

“When you look with your eyes
Everything seems nice
But if you look twice
you can see it’s all lies”

that is pretty negative view … haha. not everything is all lies i am sure.

my level of happiness …

my level of happiness has been deteriorating. still remember in the past, i had a carefree life, little issues here and there. overall, everything was good. 

then, later on, i became very very happy. i no longer had a carefree life, which i didnt mind a bit. i thot i knew wat was going on. i thot everything was just fine. i was very very happy, although i didnt show it to ppl. not many ppl (or no one) knew that i was very happy. everything was just great for me. maybe i was selfish, didnt pay attention to wat was really going on. until one day, the reality just struck me hard, very hard. and as a (perfect) introvert, not many ever knew that, how shattered i was. only a few frens of mine …

sometimes i just wonder, wat if i didnt have the ‘very very happy’ life, would i be unhappy now? maybe not. i am sure, when one is unhappy, nothing will be alright. everything will be bad. sigh. thats why, every morning, when i just open my eyes, i try to smile. i try to smile to myself. do a little push-ups. hope all these little things that i do to start the day, will make me happy. so far, the result is not obvious, or obviously no result … haha.

i am pursuing something. at first, i gave it a grade B+. at least i was satisfied with how many things went. lately, lost direction, focus, connection, and many things … i will give it a grade F. complete failure. of course if you look at the results, it is not all bad. but it has come to a point, no point of returning … wat i need to do is to crawl until the finish line. hope everything will be alright, with this level of happiness …

 

Story of A and B …

When there is no beginning, there is no end …

Thats all for the story, short but somehow … ok lar, haha.

disconnected …

i think it has come to a point where i am disconnected in some sense from those ppl … i have tried to bring the connection back, somehow it is not working. yeah, i kinda miss those good old days, when things were simple … now everything just seems complicated.

if only i could turn back time …

thanks in many languages …

completed a survey by apple … in the end of the survey, they thanked me … not only that, they thanked me in many languages …

here it is …

hope it is okay to post it here … let me know if there is any prob … i will remove it, terima kasih …